He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
