i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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