You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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