You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
