I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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