Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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