I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize