I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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