Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
