im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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