I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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