Pants 0. Shit 1.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
