Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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