You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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