worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
