You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize