found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
