But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
