The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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