I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
