I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
