Will you blow on my dice?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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