talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
