Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
