And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
