This beer is not sobering me up at all
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
