Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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