Well apparently he's into motor boating.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Quick, to the slutcave!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
