i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
