I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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