In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
