remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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