all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
