Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
