You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
