If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Sober January is a disaster.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
