The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
