if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
