Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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