You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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