just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh god the rape fog is back!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize