Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
