My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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