So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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