i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
