I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
