And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
