not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
