So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
