oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
