His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
