p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
