On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
