TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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