If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm both gender and math confused
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
