stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
