Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
