i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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