Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Also, beer. Big fan.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
