I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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