she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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