i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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