So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
