Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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