I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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